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Tuesday, May 7, 2019

MAY - Borderline Personality Disorder Awareness Month



So May is not only Mental Health awareness month, but is also Borderline Personality Disorder awareness month too, so happens to be a perfect time to do a big old BPD guide/awareness/info/ramble post. I'll pop in some infographics on BPD as well as my own writing and knowledge for you guys. Hope you enjoy and, grab a cuppa!



What Is BPD?

Borderline personality disorder is a PD characterised by intense mood swings and an inability to regulate emotions alongside 8 other main characteristics, only 5 of which you need for an official diagnosis. BPD is more commonly diagnosed in women, as men tend to be misdiagnosed with depression or antisocial personality disorder depending on how they portray their symptoms. People with BPD are often diagnosed with depression and anxiety or another personality disorder alongside BPD. It is believed that between 1 and 2% of people have BPD. There is also scientific proof to back up BPD, being that someone with the condition has a smaller amyglada and hippocamous, and their pre frontal cortex is also less active, meaning we cannot regulate our emotions the way a 'normal' person can.

Symptoms of BPD

There are 9 main characteristics of BPD, and as previously said, you only need 5 for a diagnosis, this can be any combination of the 9 so everyone with BPD deals with their condition differently and has main struggles, you can also suffer from all 9 like myself, or any combination of 5 or more symptoms. 

  • The first symptom is FEAR OF ABANDONMENT, a chronic fear that people will leave you and this pushes you to do anything to keep people around and can come across as 'clingy
  • EMOTIONAL DYSREGULATION so you struggle to keep your emotions from swinging one way to the other very quickly and can be very painfully, you may go from extreme anger to extreme happiness to extreme sadness all in a matter of minutes
  • Having frequent IDENTITY CRISIS' and changing who you are to try and figure out who you are in the world,changing your appearance or way you are around people to fit in or feel comfortable. You do not have a strong sense of being or identity
  • Having RELATIONSHIP TROUBLES with friends, romantic partners, family etc. Struggling to keep and maintain relationships due to fear of abandonment and fear that ot will all go wrong instantly leaving you alone and sad again
  • Feelings of CHRONIC EMPTINESS, meaning you are either very high, very low or feeling empty and numb, not knowing how to cope with this can lead to;
  • IMPULSIVITY, coping with problems by acting out on impulses, for example, dyeing your hair, gambling, promiscuity, spending money you don't have etc 
  • Also coping by using SELF-HARM or having suicidal thoughts to escape the pain from coping
  • Random BOUTS OF ANGER that emit like a fiery rage out of nowhere
  • PARANOIA OR DISASSOCIATION 

Stigmas of BPD



As with any mental illness, there tends to be a lot of untrue stigmas and statements surrounding BPD. Some say we are untreatable, when there are multiple treatments for BPD including DBT and CBT.

 It is also said we are manipulative, attention seeking and selfish, when in actual fact, we are so filled with emotions that we can be the most loving, empathetic and compassionate individuals when it comes to other people and their emotions. At times what may come across as attention seeking is a cry for help, we are not often good at communicating our emotions and feelings and this may come through in a negative way when we are really saying we need help right now. When people say we are manipulative, what this usually means is that we are misunderstood in how we react to things, we aren't purposefully trying to change your words or mix up what you're saying to suit us, that is what we actually are hearing and are coping with in our minds, for example when someone says "I don't want to talk right now" what that comes across to us is "I hate you and don't ever want to speak to you", this my seem dramatic, but this is how we feel and how we take words. 

Another stigma is that people with BPD are unloveable, and this is something that we also feel in ourselves but is simply not true. We may be harder to understand but with communication and empathy, we are just as loveable as anyone else, if not just a little bit high maintenance, (I may be speaking for myself there). 

BPD Thoughts VS 'Normal' Thoughts

BPD thoughts are very different to someone else, so when we say "you don't understand" we truly mean it. Where a 'normal' person will be able to think rationally, think logically and put these together to see the good the bad and the mid in everything, someone with BPD will only see the good or bad and will only think with our emotions. We are very literal (this sometimes means our symptoms come across as being part of the autistic spectrum) and see the world in black and white, or people are inherently good or bad. This can also lead to something called 'splitting', where if someone does one thing that upsets us or is negative, they go from being a good person to a bad person instantly, they go from an 'always' to a 'never' and we cannot see the good in that person anymore, only the negatives. 

BPD can also mean we are very paranoid and think we are in danger or under threat from the people around us. We can also experience something calling 'disassociation' where someone will feel numb and separate from reality and our own bodies. 

BPD Triggers 


As with any illness, there are a lot of triggers, and a lot of them can be the tiniest things that trigger us into a depression or low mood. Personally my paranoia and abandonment issues tend to flare when someone seems off with me over text, this could be from reading a message and not replying, to not putting a 'x' on the end or anything that seems 'blunt' in our minds - again a black and white thinking does not help this! We may seem paranoid, or over the top but that's just what it's like living with BPD. Any of these triggers can make me suddenly down and sad and wondering what I've done wrong, questioning everything I've said and wanting to apologise for everything I've ever done and take it all back instantly and make everything okay again, so I tend to curl up in my duvet and go to sleep and hope it goes away by the time I wake up.

This can make friendships incredibly difficult as I constantly think my friends don't like me, that they are talking about me behind my back, that me being their friend is just an inside joke etc, it makes me extremely paranoid and anxious and it is horrific, it's one of the worst parts because I worry so much about everything I say and do. 

The meme I've posted above is one of my favourites purely for the last line of 'being alive' as it is so true, literally everything in life triggers us with BPD and can make our bad days a living hell, so please be kind to your pals with BPD, be enthusiastic with them, try not to change your tone or how you speak over text to them and check in with them make sure they are okay and not feeling particularly vulnerable that day. But also, and importantly, don;t think you have to walk on eggshells, we can still find the humour in how bad we can get and particularly in myself to cope I like to take the piss and this helps me rationalise my emotions and feelings. 

Aaaaaaaannnnddd we're done. I hope this post was useful to some people in raising awareness, giving those with BPD  a laugh at how relatable or just being an interesting post to read. As always leave any comments below and I'll get back to you.

Meg x 

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