Borderline personality disorder is a PD characterised by intense mood swings and an inability to regulate emotions alongside 8 other main characteristics, only 5 of which you need for an official diagnosis. BPD is more commonly diagnosed in women, as men tend to be misdiagnosed with depression or antisocial personality disorder depending on how they portray their symptoms. People with BPD are often diagnosed with depression and anxiety or another personality disorder alongside BPD. It is believed that between 1 and 2% of people have BPD. There is also scientific proof to back up BPD, being that someone with the condition has a smaller amyglada and hippocamous, and their pre frontal cortex is also less active, meaning we cannot regulate our emotions the way a 'normal' person can.

Symptoms of BPD

Stigmas of BPD

As with any mental illness, there tends to be a lot of untrue stigmas and statements surrounding BPD. Some say we are untreatable, when there are multiple treatments for BPD including DBT and CBT.

 It is also said we are manipulative, attention seeking and selfish, when in actual fact, we are so filled with emotions that we can be the most loving, empathetic and compassionate individuals when it comes to other people and their emotions. At times what may come across as attention seeking is a cry for help, we are not often good at communicating our emotions and feelings and this may come through in a negative way when we are really saying we need help right now. When people say we are manipulative, what this usually means is that we are misunderstood in how we react to things, we aren't purposefully trying to change your words or mix up what you're saying to suit us, that is what we actually are hearing and are coping with in our minds, for example when someone says "I don't want to talk right now" what that comes across to us is "I hate you and don't ever want to speak to you", this my seem dramatic, but this is how we feel and how we take words. 

Another stigma is that people with BPD are unloveable, and this is something that we also feel in ourselves but is simply not true. We may be harder to understand but with communication and empathy, we are just as loveable as anyone else, if not just a little bit high maintenance, (I may be speaking for myself there). 

BPD thoughts are very different to someone else, so when we say "you don't understand" we truly mean it. Where a 'normal' person will be able to think rationally, think logically and put these together to see the good the bad and the mid in everything, someone with BPD will only see the good or bad and will only think with our emotions. We are very literal (this sometimes means our symptoms come across as being part of the autistic spectrum) and see the world in black and white, or people are inherently good or bad. This can also lead to something called 'splitting', where if someone does one thing that upsets us or is negative, they go from being a good person to a bad person instantly, they go from an 'always' to a 'never' and we cannot see the good in that person anymore, only the negatives. 

BPD can also mean we are very paranoid and think we are in danger or under threat from the people around us. We can also experience something calling 'disassociation' where someone will feel numb and separate from reality and our own bodies. 

As with any illness, there are a lot of triggers, and a lot of them can be the tiniest things that trigger us into a depression or low mood. Personally my paranoia and abandonment issues tend to flare when someone seems off with me over text, this could be from reading a message and not replying, to not putting a 'x' on the end or anything that seems 'blunt' in our minds - again a black and white thinking does not help this! We may seem paranoid, or over the top but that's just what it's like living with BPD. Any of these triggers can make me suddenly down and sad and wondering what I've done wrong, questioning everything I've said and wanting to apologise for everything I've ever done and take it all back instantly and make everything okay again, so I tend to curl up in my duvet and go to sleep and hope it goes away by the time I wake up.

This can make friendships incredibly difficult as I constantly think my friends don't like me, that they are talking about me behind my back, that me being their friend is just an inside joke etc, it makes me extremely paranoid and anxious and it is horrific, it's one of the worst parts because I worry so much about everything I say and do. 

The meme I've posted above is one of my favourites purely for the last line of 'being alive' as it is so true, literally everything in life triggers us with BPD and can make our bad days a living hell, so please be kind to your pals with BPD, be enthusiastic with them, try not to change your tone or how you speak over text to them and check in with them make sure they are okay and not feeling particularly vulnerable that day. But also, and importantly, don;t think you have to walk on eggshells, we can still find the humour in how bad we can get and particularly in myself to cope I like to take the piss and this helps me rationalise my emotions and feelings. 

Aaaaaaaannnnddd we're done. I hope this post was useful to some people in raising awareness, giving those with BPD  a laugh at how relatable or just being an interesting post to read. As always leave any comments below and I'll get back to you.

Meg x 

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